Friday, May 31, 2019

Don't let your amotions make your decisions

Ana(let’s name her) appreciates everything she got and she couldn’t ask for no more but 6moths ago she were in different mind and she was living different life.

Ana was 24 years old when she met her husband which she loved very much, he was her world and more,they had beautiful relationship and happy life. After year being together she got pregnant, they was so exited and was looking forward to all new experience in their life, they was planning all future together and couldn’t see it any other way. After Ana had a baby she staid at home and looked after newborn and house, she was happy that way…

Maternity ended Ana had to go back to work and then everything changed.

Started daily routine,house,work,Ana and her husband felt tired and drained all the time,they wasn’t interested in going for a day out or spending time with close friends as they want to rest.

In Anas work she met a new girl who became her good friend but her priorities in life was different then Anas,she didn’t had partner or the kids or anything that Ana had. She was young single girl who liked men attention,was clubbing,drinking,using drugs and she was happy that way.

Ana spend more and more time together and less with her family, Ana and her husband started to have disagreements about bills,work household and that Ana is never home. Ana paid less and less attention to her husband and what he had to say.She was tired from all the routine that she had and secretly liked her friends life. Her friend keep said to her that they must go out together to club it will be fun, it would help her run away from routine. So they did, they went to club,Ana had a drink and she liked that it was no problems, no responsibilities it was like other world. She started doing this more often, then clubs changed to not going home for couple of days, alcohol changed drugs, her friend became her best friend and her husband became her least favorite person whose voice would drive her mad. She thought that grass in her friends house is greener and she wanted to have same life as her friend.

So Ana decided to leave her husband and take child with her, she moved in with her friend, her husband tried to fight for her so bad he did everything but she wasnt interested she thought she don’t won’t life like she had.

While child was up her husband parties,clubs and single life carried on till six month after she woke up one morning and felt weak,scruffy,dirty,tired and depressed , she went in shower and she just sat there and cried she didn’t know how to stop all this all she knew she didn’t want to have life like this,she knew that the only person who can help her it was her husband but she treated him so bad that she was too afraid to ask. After shower she dressed up took her phone and left her friends house, she went to her house where she had an amazing life and a wonderful family. Ana didn’t knew how to tell him or what to say. her husband was speaking about their child and Ana in the middle of it shouted out with the tears in her eyes ” I need your help,please help me”. Her husband hug her and said “finally, you don’t know how I was waiting for you to come back to yourself”. So she told everything she done In this months all mistakes she made. He forgived her and didn’t judged her. Because he knew her more then she knew herself.

Ana moved back in her family home, stoped all the contact with that girl and she regrets every day her decisions she mad drived by her emotions.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Love yourself

So many of us looking in the mirror and don't like what we see. We scrolling trough social media and see this perfect figure women selfies having a perfect life and you wish you look like her, you would have her life, her confidence and you would be liked.
Let me tell you a story about a women(let's name her Ana)

We all are different and that's beautiful Ana said. She had to go a long way to finally understand that and say it loud.
Ana had a great life,she was happy successful in her career and never really tried put much effort in her looks but till one day everything changed. She was in the cafe with her colleagues and they was like women from social media they was nothing like Ana, they had a perfect bodies,perfect size 0,long,fake wavy hair,fake eyelashes,big lips,makeup done to perfection, nude stiletto nails, and all the attention they want. Everytime women walk past they would make a comments how fat she is, on what she is wearing,how she looks,she have no taste,she is ugly and it would carry on until see another women. Ana was shocked by this and she thought that's what probably everyone things about women who doesn't look like you see in social media. She went back home that evening and she was scrolling through her social media looking for random women who looked perfect in her eyes she staid awake all night searching on Internet- what is the perfect women, how perfect women looks,how to loose weight,how to do make up,how to take perfect selfies,what men likes in a women and etc. And she found a lot of info that she thought it was right for her. She spend all her spare time keep searching and looking at this women. Months went past and she changed,she lost weight,had a fake wavy hair,eyelashes,nails, used more and more makeup, start wearing revealing clothes and taking a 1000 of selfies but most importantly not just her looks changed she changed inside, she was like others,judgemental,snobby and she felt better then others. Her priorities in life changed she didn't care about her job anymore, she just was interested that others say how stunning,sexy she is, how many likes or messages she got from men. She would take 20 selfies with filters in one time and only post one that perfect one. She was spending more and more time on social media that she forgot to live her real life.
After a while she started to noticing that people don't take her serious anymore, that men looks at her like an object, all they want from her is one night fun. Women commenting that Ana looks fake, trying to hard to impress, her selfies fake etc.
She was on her profile reading a comments and messages from men and it was all about her looks nobody want to know her personality. Next morning she woke up and received the message from some women who said that she wish she looked like her. Ana looked in the mirror and though its not me I'm a different person and I'm tired of all of this, I'm trying to be somebody else because I want to fit in with others.
She took a selfie with her hair messed up,looking tired no make up and wearing a cozy pyjamas she send that selfie to that women with a text " all you seen is me trying to be somebody else coz I couldn't except the way I'm, this is me and I'm stopping to be someone I'm not and start being me,don't look at other people, don't try to be like them, be yourself because this is you, we all different and that is beautiful" she posted this too on her social media and she reached a lot of women. She start being herself again,she stopped wearing makeup,fake nails etc not because she thought it's fake but because she started to love herself the way she is and she was happy in her own skin she didn't needed shield to hide her natural beauty. And she was glowing and beautiful and others noticed too how beautiful she is inside out.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Abusive relationship

I hear a lot of ladies talking about how their relationship is perfect or want to find the perfect match and a perfect relationship. But not many of us want to share how relationship can be dragging you down or about that feeling that you are worthless and stuck. How to avoid Mr wrong. Because not many people want to know or listen of our problems, not many people care,some of them are glad that you have them. Or we don't share it because of what the others will say,what if they start judge you or laugh behind your back. And sometimes you just want to be listen to.
I tell you a story about a girl in abusive relationship.
She was a 20 years old and was living happy life she always smiled, was spending her time with friends and she had a lot of them, when you seen her she always made you smile. She was so glowing. In a group of friends she met her future boyfriend, after a couple of days they start chatting on Facebook and decided to meet. They were attractive to each other, had a strong feeling about each other they couldn't get enough. So they start dating,they spend all of their free time together,they done everything together.
After a year they decided to move in together as everything was great. Couple of months later everything started to change.
He would go out more often and leave her at home with some excuses. She became a housekeeper who cleans after him and takes care of him. All the household bills was taking care by her as he started to make excuses about his money. He would go out sometimes and come back next day without no text,phone call or explanation. If she tried to talk about it with him, his lines would be " you're always complaining,I'm not arguing with you". So she thought that she was to pushy,un-understandable.
One day she met with her friends, what she stopped doing it as she had everything she needs by her side. And they had a girly talk about stuff. She was sitting by the table with the smile on her face and talking how is everything perfect in her relationship but inside she want to cry and just tell that she is doing not well and ask for advice, she didn't do that as she didn't want to show that her life sucks.
Another year gone and things gotten worst.
She wasnt able to be herself no more.
Everything she tried to tell him about her day in work or how well she is doing he would drag her down with a comments like" you never happy, what do you expect or you are where you are because of me I gave you a better life". She wasnt that happy glowing women any more. She felt so worthless and unhappy but she loved him and always tried to find excuses why hi is the way hi is, she would blame herself for everything that wasn't even her fault.
He stopped her from going out,seeing her friends or family and she felt that she don't have no one just him. He would come back home from work throw her on the bed to have a sex and afterwards he would make a comment " you need to stop eating like a pig and start going to gym, look at yourself" or "put some makeup on you look awful". She keep saying to her self that was her fault,she didn't looked after herself anymore and she must try harder.
While he was on holiday with his friends she invited friend to her house. When she opened the door her friend jumped back as she couldn't believe that it was the same girl. She looked unhappy,unhealthy. They had a coffee and start talking why she changed so much(in a bad way) so she told her the truth. Friend told her to pack her bags and live him. But it's easier said then done.
Another year went past and she was worst then ever. He wouldn't give her a rest, she wasnt good enough,always putted her down with everything she said or done. She lost self-belief,all confidents. She want to leave but who would be with her,who would look at her,who would want her she thought.
One day she met her friend while she was shopping. They was chatting and decided to go for a coffee. Her friend asked her what's wrong with you,you don't get in touch anymore,ovoiding me,you look not good"She said "I'm just tired from work,house but otherwise everything is fine" she didn't want to tell her what was really going on.
Her friend said "I can't make you talk if you don't want to but if you will you know where to find me" they just carried on chatting about stuff and she looked in a phone and noticed 5 missed calls from her boyfriend she stood up and ran to the car,drove back home and he was waiting for her there she walked through the door with shopping bags he grabbed bags from her and pushed her against the wall holding her neck he was screaming at her, he turned her to face him and slapped her face. She was all shaking, she was keep saying "I'm sorry" her face was covered by tears. He let her go and went upstairs. She took her handbag and car keys and left. She couldn't believe that this happened. She sat in the car and call her friend she had a coffee with, she was crying and saying" just please don't judge my,please don't judge me". Friend came by her house took her home with her. They spend all night talking about her life. Her friend just listen to her story and said nothing. At the end she said " its your life and it's your decision and if you diced to walk away from him I will stay by your side but if you diced to stay with him sorry I can't be by your side and watch you suffering". She staid up her friends house for a week trying to pease everything together to just be with herself. If she want to talk her friend always was there to listen.
Her boyfriend was calling her texting her saying " I'm sorry,I didn't mean to,please come back that won't happen again...." she was thinking about going back. Next morning she woke up and was getting ready to leave,her friend stopped her and said " so that's your decision, are you sure about this, what will be next time,please stay with me for another week and give yourself a space and time to think about this" so she listen and staid. She was crying every night to sleep and thought what did she done to deserve this.
She was scrolling down through her photos and saw how she changed,her smile changed by tiers,her glow disappeared and most importantly how she felt inside all changed. She couldn't believed that she let all this happened to her and she thought she was stronger than that. She never imagined her life will be this way. She said to her friend" I want to leave him but I'm to afraid I have nothing left" her friend said with a calm but strong voice " what do you mean you are afraid,you have me you have your family and we will support you all the way, you don't deserve a live like this,nobody does, you are better then that and stronger then that" and these simple lines change her. She felt like finally someone is believing in her that she is not worthless.
She did leave him,moved in to her friends house, she was broken inside, she was thinking about him if he is ok or if he is with another women, if he thinking about her. But every time she did she would tell her friend and that would made her feel better as she just needed to be listen. Her friend keep said to her what a strong women she is and how beautiful she is and that would made her to love herself again. She never was the same person again, she changed but in better way she was single for a while trying to know her self again. And she never let another person to tell her or made her feel that she is not good enough. She have a fiance who do anything for her and she is happy but she never forget what she went through because that made her person she is today.

Women's World

Monday, May 27, 2019


Hello ladies!
For the last couple of months I have very deep thoughts. I want to do something different to help others. So I decided that I will start a blog where I can share life experiences and help to others if I can. Where you can post about your life experience and feelings without being judged.
I seen a lot of women around me struggling in their own bodies,mind. And it’s no help around them. You might say it’s nothing new...I know we have a lot of websites and social media where we can share things,posts etc. But I didn’t found one that would be open,honest,not judgmental and supported. 
I see women on a daily basis who wants to be something they not, who trying to fit themselves in to “Societies Perfect Women” frame. They trying so hard to loose weight, go to gym, count calories, be a size 0, wear the perfect clothes, do their hair,makeup and smile even if inside they are broken, they just want to tell to someone how they really feel. But they can’t because they are too afraid to hear criticism, be judged, laugh at. 
Is just so sad that so many of us afraid to show “Real you” because of someone’s reaction. I learned long time ago do not matter what you do people always find something to talk about,something they don’t like about you. But I won’t change for anyone apart myself and I won’t please anyone so I would be liked. 
We all different people we have a different view, morals,believes. So it’s ok to disagree and agree!
In my view we are all beautiful inside out, we just need to stop putting ourselves down and see everything in negative way!

Women’s World